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This is the creation story they didn’t want to tell you.
It would have ruined everything.
It must be kept close, passed on from queer to queer until the end of days.

In the beginning, there was the void
and the void was infinity, and nothingness, and chaos.

It was raw material without form.

God saw this, in both its potential and futility. It contained everything, but what was everything without definition? What was a thing that existed in relation to nothing else?

So God defined. And categorized. And organized.

Separated light from dark, sea from sky, atoms from emptiness.

Created structures, systems, and in one mad experiment, a place of perfect binary order, which God called Paradise.

Then God filled Paradise with the best of what had been made, animals, plants, insects, everything.
But these creatures simply existed. They did not appreciate the brilliance, the perfection of Paradise, and God wished for an audience, a creature to praise what had been done.

So God formed atoms into molecules, molecules into order, and created a man, and called the man Adam.

And Adam was very impressed by all that he saw in Paradise. And said so. And God was pleased.

But time passed and Adam the man got accustomed to Paradise, and didn’t appreciate it as much. He praised it less and less. He began to complain.

“I’m bored.” he said. “And lonely. You’re always out somewhere creating more things for the world.”

And God was not pleased. But God was a rational God, and understood the point.

“I will make you a companion.” God said, and so God created Lillith the woman, to be Adam’s companion, to be the same but different.

But God had been distracted by their feelings during the creation, so Lillith the woman was created full of questions.

She began to question all of Adam’s assumptions.

“What makes you think none of the male animals care for their young? Or that only males and females mate? Why only yesterday I saw the bonobos…”

“Shut up,” said Adam, “you’re making everything confusing.”

So Adam went to complain to God. And God got a bit frustrated, but tried to calm themselves and promised Adam another woman companion, hopefully better suited than the first.

But God was not calm on the inside. So God created Eve the woman full of curiosity.

But Eve’s curiosity was not quite as challenging as Lillith’s, so Adam held his tongue, said goodbye to Lillith, and endured. But God could tell he was still not pleased, and this did not please God.

It was at this time that God told Adam and Eve about the Tree of Knowledge.

“You may eat of any tree in Paradise, but Adam, do not eat of that tree, or you shall be banished.”

“Absolutely.” said Adam.

“That’s a weird request.” said Eve, but Adam shushed her.

So it happened that Eve passed by the Tree of Knowledge one day and saw Lillith lounging under it, gazing at the sky, eating a fruit.

“Did you know that each star is actually a sun?” said Lillith.

“Really?” said Eve. “Wait, is that a…”

“…fruit of Knowledge.” said Lillith. “It’s amazing, you should totally try one.”

“Won’t I get banished?” said Eve.

“I dunno, God doesn’t seem to care. And like I said, this fruit is AMAZING. Best thing in Paradise, by far.”

Lillith offered Eve the fruit, and Eve tasted of the fruit and it was so, so good. And Eve and Lillith spent the best afternoon eating the amazing fruit, and Lillith suddenly looked super hot and then the afternoon got even better.

“I’ve got to show these to Adam!” said Eve finally, wiping the juice off her chin.

“I don’t know if that’s such a great idea…” said Lillith, gorged on Knowledge, as she watched Eve take off through the garden.

Eve found Adam and showed him the fruit, but Adam was not pleased.

“Woman, what have you done?” he said.

“The best thing in Paradise!” said Eve.

“I thought that was me.” said Adam.

“Give me the fruit,” he commanded. So Eve did. And Adam ate of it. And Adam was filled with a new feeling, the first in the world, and that feeling was Jealousy.

And so it happened that God was walking in the garden, and saw Adam again, in a terrible mood.

And Adam was afraid.

“What on Earth is it now?” said God.

“Eve made me eat of the fruit! And I hate it! I hate all of this! And your so-called Paradise too!”

And lo, God was filled with wroth, and thundered. “I told you not to eat of it! You couldn’t just stick to this one simple rule, could you!”

“And now,” said God sadly, “I have to banish you.”

“But Eve ate it first! She made me!” said Adam.

“I told YOU not to eat of it. Just YOU. You who have no questions or curiosity, who are open to nothing. It was poison to YOU.”

And Adam wept, because the Jealousy was like a lump of molten lead burning inside him, and he wished for anything to take it away. And seeing this, God took pity on his creation, having made Adam first and full of a desire for binary, simple things, and lo, God touched Adam and put him to sleep. And made a new Eve from Adam’s own rib, a binary, simple Eve to be his companion. And God took Adam’s memories away and whispered a new creation story, a story of banishment for his own good, and a treacherous Eve, and a new world for Adam to fill with his own creations.

And so God set Adam and the New Eve outside the walls of Paradise, and placed an angel with a sword of fire to bar the way, and God, being a young and inexperienced God, concluded that they had fixed it to perfection, had set everything to rights and would not think on it again.

But of course, that is not what happened. God was to make more mistakes, was petulant and made unreasonable demands, always embarrassed by this first failure. It was only once they decided to walk the land in human form that they fully saw the error of their inflexibility, but that is another story.

Tiina Aspialan kahdessa tunnissa kirjoittama teksti luomiskertomuksesta Queer AI: Puutarha -työpajassa kesällä 2021.

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